In this Module, I will introduce the Paradigms that make up the foundation of my work. You can think of these as threads that run through and influence the way that we approach goals, creating change, and all of our work around energy, weight, and [INNER] beauty.
This is the structure on which we build.
How you do food is how you do money is how you do work is how you do relationship is how you do intimacy… You get the picture.
You are the common denominator in your life. How you show up in any area of life will be remarkably similar to how you show up in other areas of life. For example, if you are super strict about food for several days until you binge, there’s a good chance that you’re super strict about your budget until splurge.
This is good news. Change how you show up in any one area of life, and that change is likely to spill over into all the areas of life.
Failure is only a possibility if you give up on trying. Everything else can accurately be called “learning what didn’t work.”
Let’s pretend you go on a diet. The conventional kind that was popular for 40+ years in which you work really hard to reduce your calories and exercise more. You lose a little weight. Then before you know it, you’ve gained it all back and then some.
You have two choices:
1 – “I failed.” (which can quickly become, “I’m flawed” to be followed by, “Why bother!”)
2 – “That didn’t work. What might?”
Which of these two scenarios do you think is more supportive of having you reach your goal?
Let’s pretend that my first ever love dumps me at the fragile age of 15.
What happened – that I got dumped – doeesn’t matter nearly as much as what I tell myself about what happened. If I tell myself (make it mean) that love hurts and isn’t worth the pain, I’m going to walk a particular path for the next period of my life. If I convince myself that I simply have terrible taste in guys, you can see how that will take me down a different path. And if I believe that he just couldn’t see greatness in front of him, there’s another path for me to walk.
It’s the same what happened, but three very different meanings made from what happened. And there are countless meanings that we can make from what happened.
** This is good time to remind yourself that not everything you believe is true.**
This one is tough for a lot of people, so please read the entire section before you revolt and slam your computer shut.
Understand that intention is different than implementation; it’s also different than outcome. I am NOT saying that everything has a positive outcome. I’m not saying that everything is implemented in a positive way. I’m simply saying that the intention underneath the implementation is positive, even if misguided. When we find that positive intention, we find appreciation and often freedom.
Let’s take a deep dive into Ben & Jerry’s to explore this further. Come on, we’ve all been there. The implementation is consuming the entire bowl (or pint) of ice cream. The outcome is likely that you feel crummy after, in whatever way that shows up for you (and really… this could be anything from some mild fatigue or bloating to a full on shame spiral). But the intention? The intention may have been momentary escape from a crazy-long day, the company of two dependable friends, indulgence…
You see where this is going? No matter that the action, there’s an intention under it that’s positive, and when you find it, you have access to fulfilling on that intention in way that results in a positive outcome!
In this Module, I will introduce the Paradigms that make up the foundation of my work. You can think of these as threads that run through and influence the way that we approach goals, creating change, and all of our work around energy, weight, and [INNER] beauty.
This is the structure on which we build.
How you do food is how you do money is how you do work is how you do relationship is how you do intimacy… You get the picture.
You are the common denominator in your life. How you show up in any area of life will be remarkably similar to how you show up in other areas of life. For example, if you are super strict about food for several days until you binge, there’s a good chance that you’re super strict about your budget until splurge.
This is good news. Change how you show up in any one area of life, and that change is likely to spill over into all the areas of life.
Failure is only a possibility if you give up on trying. Everything else can accurately be called “learning what didn’t work.”
Let’s pretend you go on a diet. The conventional kind that was popular for 40+ years in which you work really hard to reduce your calories and exercise more. You lose a little weight. Then before you know it, you’ve gained it all back and then some.
You have two choices:
1 – “I failed.” (which can quickly become, “I’m flawed” to be followed by, “Why bother!”)
2 – “That didn’t work. What might?”
Which of these two scenarios do you think is more supportive of having you reach your goal?
Let’s pretend that my first ever love dumps me at the fragile age of 15.
What happened – that I got dumped – doeesn’t matter nearly as much as what I tell myself about what happened. If I tell myself (make it mean) that love hurts and isn’t worth the pain, I’m going to walk a particular path for the next period of my life. If I convince myself that I simply have terrible taste in guys, you can see how that will take me down a different path. And if I believe that he just couldn’t see greatness in front of him, there’s another path for me to walk.
It’s the same what happened, but three very different meanings made from what happened. And there are countless meanings that we can make from what happened.
** This is good time to remind yourself that not everything you believe is true.**
This one is tough for a lot of people, so please read the entire section before you revolt and slam your computer shut.
Understand that intention is different than implementation; it’s also different than outcome. I am NOT saying that everything has a positive outcome. I’m not saying that everything is implemented in a positive way. I’m simply saying that the intention underneath the implementation is positive, even if misguided. When we find that positive intention, we find appreciation and often freedom.
Let’s take a deep dive into Ben & Jerry’s to explore this further. Come on, we’ve all been there. The implementation is consuming the entire bowl (or pint) of ice cream. The outcome is likely that you feel crummy after, in whatever way that shows up for you (and really… this could be anything from some mild fatigue or bloating to a full on shame spiral). But the intention? The intention may have been momentary escape from a crazy-long day, the company of two dependable friends, indulgence…
You see where this is going? No matter that the action, there’s an intention under it that’s positive, and when you find it, you have access to fulfilling on that intention in way that results in a positive outcome!